


room with a view

by commandmission



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Crushes, Drunk Sex, Frottage, Internal Monologue, Kinda, Love Confessions, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Sloppy Makeouts, angst undertones, im making this sound more emotional than it actually is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 16:13:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandmission/pseuds/commandmission
Summary: Somehow, Jay wanted to love Tim, as fully as he possibly could. The sentiment was all there, Jay just had to.. do it now. And, somehow, Jay really really wanted Tim to, miraculously, love him back.





	room with a view

-

The low, mechanical _hum_ of Jay’s vehicle and the droning pop music station playing hushed on the radio had been his only soundtrack for hours, days, and Jay’s head had become heavy in the thickly stagnant, warm air. His eyes, too, felt weighted from staring at the back of Tim’s car for hours and hours on end as he followed, driving closely behind along through highways, bucolic neighbourhoods, and occasionally, dense cities. At that point, Jay had _thoroughly_ memorized each character of Tim’s license plate, having nothing but his thoughts and surroundings to keep him busy on the way to their next stop. He had an awful lot of time to think about his new partner- companion? Accomplice? Friend? None of the descriptors sounded right. Tim was none, as well as all of them to Jay. Jay wanted him to be all of them- and, God, he just thought that. Lord.

His mind ran a sluggish slideshow of hazy images and rambling words he wanted to say that plagued him, despite his fruitless attempts to shove them to the far reaches of his headspace, to hopefully never be touched again. Beautiful _everything_ \- and it wasn’t just a far off fantasy, Tim was so.. tangible, right in front of him, shapely hands and gentle eyes and dark hair, hair that, once Jay would set eyes on, he’d instantly envision running his hands through, and how it has to feel to be so close to Tim. And all the things he wants to say, thinks of saying, but doesn’t. Tim’s shoulders will shrug in part of a response, and Jay will imagine tracing them with his palms, feeling for each distinct, hard muscle underneath soft skin. He’ll forget completely what Tim was responding to in the first place, and he feels bad for not even hearing what was just said. Jay could listen to Tim speak for hours and hours, and afterwards, he’d ask to hear more. He’s desperate to feel the warmth of Tim’s hands in his. Jay thinks about how he could wake up next to Tim, their body heat conjoining and seeping into-

There really was no distraction from Jay’s brooding about the man in the gray car in front of him now, he ran his hands through his sweat coated hair, letting out an audible groan. Tim had every reason to hate him, regardless of how stubbornly Jay had tried to think otherwise, Tim had every reason to refuse to help, Tim had every reason to walk away from Jay and this whole situation and never return, but he didn’t do that. He didn’t, and all Jay has done to show his gratitude has been, what, putting Tim’s medical records on the internet for all to see?

Jay realized even with all the windows in his car open this gross weight in the air wouldn’t go away, and he realized it isn’t like himself to be this utterly pathetic, even considering the situation he's been in for years now. He grips the steering wheel, his lifeline to reality, like it’ll keep him outside of his head. Tim, the only person he had left, was here and so close, but so distant all at the same time, and, he finally absorbed the fact that he hasn’t felt this way in earnest about somebody possibly ever, and a part of him, or even a few parts, wanted to deny it. He realized he’s never cared like this about someone, he's never imagined growing old with someone before, he realized he’s never had a sex dream until just the other night. Somehow, Jay wanted to successfully show his gratitude to Tim, and for everything he's done, and for everything he could’ve done, but didn’t. Somehow, Jay wanted to _love_ Tim, as fully as he possibly could. The sentiment was all there, Jay just had to.. _do it_ now. And, somehow, Jay really really wanted Tim to, miraculously, love him back.

-

He had an idea. “You chastise me for not running directly into the woods with you to chase that guy in the hoodie, but wanting to have some fun for the first time in however many years is unreasonable?” The irreverent grin plastered on Jay’s face sent a completely different message than his irritated tone. He was gonna get what he wanted, regardless of how much longer he had to argue in circles with Tim.

“It's dangerous, Jay!” And Tim wasn’t having any of it. “What if something happens while you’re drunk, then what?”

“And chasing after some guy in the woods isn’t? Look, I just won’t have that much then. Besides, I mean, I’ve done worse.” Jay spoke, sliding his motel room key into the front pocket of his jeans.

Tim sat up against his bed’s headboard, stiff and frustrated. “Yea, you have. That just gives me more of a reason to stop you before something bad happens.”

“We’ve been on the road for days, Tim, I doubt Alex or anyone is just gonna appear behind us.”

“With the way things have been going so far, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.”

“I’m sure we won’t die if we loosen up a bit for one night. It’d probably be a good thing, for the both of us.”

Tim said nothing, but his scrutinizing glare kept up. “Well, you’re paying.”

And Jay took that as his cue to go. Opening their room’s door, he appreciatively smiled to himself. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Tim had never seen Jay smile like that before. “Don’t worry about me.” Or if he has, he can’t recall.

-

Fumbling with his door key and grabbing Tim’s wary attention, Jay reentered the dingy motel room with a six bottle case of Budweiser and another vibrant, tight lipped smile on his face. Tim huffed, getting up from his position against the headboard, folding on occupying himself with trying to connect Jay’s laptop to the shitty motel WiFi. “What happened to not having that much, Jay?”

“Three for me and three for you.” Jay answered matter-of-factly, loading all but one of the bottles into the room’s mini fridge.

“Three bottles isn’t ‘not that much’.” Tim objected. Jay said nothing, instead opting to try and open his lukewarm bottle with one swift, cheeky strike on the edge of the TV stand in front of their beds, overestimating it’s sturdiness and almost toppling the whole thing over in the process, including the TV resting on top that they could not pay to replace right now. At least he steadied it again before getting to work on his bottle. Tim only sighed in response, already vexed despite having at least a whole night of taking care of a drunk Jay ahead of him.

With surprising dispatch, Jay eagerly finished his bottle within a matter of minutes. Tim didn’t take the slightly smaller man for much of a drinker, and was proven right by the redness that he swore immediately rose to Jay’s face, and again by the much greater volume of patience Jay seemed to be taking with his second bottle. Almost reluctantly, Tim eventually made his way to the mini fridge to join the frothy mess Jay was in the process of becoming. Popping the cap off with his car key, Tim took his first few careful sips.

Jay’s already tipsy smile was damn infectious. “I knew you’d come around.” He offered his bottle for a toast, and upon Jay’s joyful _“Cheers!”_ Tim couldn’t help but crack a smile of his own.

-

The blush-coloured room seemed to only become more vivid within the hour, and stunk moreso of budweiser. Almost all the way through that second bottle and Jay began to feel the mass in his head and stomach, but complete weightlessness everywhere else. The cementlike mattress and sheets beneath him on the bed opposite of Tim’s now feeling like clouds beneath silk, and Tim is again proven that Jay isn’t much of a drinker at all, despite Jay’s best efforts. At this point, Jay was absolutely beaming, a full-faced smile that lasted much longer than just an ephemeral moment like his smiles usually did. Hell, now it was as if Jay couldn’t stop smiling, and any attempt to question or think of anything whatsoever trails back off into nothing. Despite having to babysit Jay for the rest of their evening, and the only modest buzz from his own alcohol thus far, Tim was pretty pleased too. He supposed it did the job of loosening the two amateur sleuths up. Instead of having his camera constantly in hand and always looking over his shoulder, uneasy and burdened, (Though it wasn’t glued to his hand and kept close to his chest, Jay still pointed his camera at them from across the room, just incase, as always.) Jay was all unfeigned elation, the hour spent laughing about nothing and into the barren motel room, flying as high as the low ceiling and thin plaster walls would let him, wrapping his lips around the bottle to finish it off, the thick liquor filling his rosy cheeks. Tim could say about the same for himself, upon finishing his bottle he felt a fluffy sense of comfort wash over him as opposed to his normally vigilant disposition. When he stopped to think about it, it was weird. Neither of them could remember the last time they felt like this, or even had the opportunity to, and Tim supposed, despite his earlier protest, the warm relaxation was worth the risk. Maybe that was what Jay was laughing and smiling at. They’d been driving for _days_ , Alex was nowhere in sight-

Tim’s train of thought ground to a halt when he refocused his attention back onto Jay, very drunk Jay, making an effort to get up off his bed and head over to the fridge, presumably for another bottle. Tim hurriedly reached for Jay’s arm in an attempt to stop him, “Hey, buddy, you’ve had enough for tonight.”

Jay turned and groaned, “What are you, the fun police?” His usually chipper voice sounded noticeably slower, but his grin remained. He pulled his arm lazily away from Tim’s grasp, but regretted it as soon as he couldn’t feel Tim’s radiating body heat anymore.

“I mean, I guess I’ve gotta be, ‘cause I don’t know how risky it’d be for you to get any more drunk. You can have more some other time-”

Jay flopped backwards on Tim’s bed and gestured for Tim to sit next to him, close to the two bed’s shared nightstand. At first, Tim hesitated, but obliged realizing that whatever Jay needed Tim for would probably distract Jay from their alcohol supply. After taking his seat, Tim searched Jay for a hint as to what he could want.

Jay rubbed his temples, then his eyes, then dragged his hands down his whole face, still retaining his grin, but the rest of his body is tense. Even with the alcohol in his system, this fares difficult.

“Ok, Tim… look. Don’t freak out, or anything.” Silence. “I know this is a bit weird. I wanna.. tell you something.

Tim gave the slightest grin, huffing, “Jay, we’ve been running from an unfathomable man-creature-thing and a murderer, and you’re thinkin’ I’m gonna freak out over a little secret? Just tell me.”

A full minute of overbearing silence. Tim can practically hear the cogs in Jay’s brain turning. “Well, okay. I don’t know if I’m gonna have the courage to do this ever again.” Jay sighs and meditates on Tim’s words for a couple more seconds, buying himself time, and they actually do relax him quite a bit. “Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and... I like you, like- a lot. Like, y’know? I wanna kiss you. I think about you- and us, a lot. I think you’re really hot. I like you.” Jay admits, stumbling up and over every word, and it sounds like something Tim would overhear on an elementary school playground, earnest and embarrassed. Immediately, Jay’s dilated pupils search Tim’s for some type of response. Right away, Tim isn’t sure what to think, but there's a strange adrenaline in him and he doesn’t waste time being silent.

“See? That wasn’t so bad.”

“Yea.. I guess, but don’t change the subject.”

Tim wasn’t really trying to, but he was unsure of what exactly to say. He had no idea of the wherewithal of these feelings Jay came forward with, and really, he hadn’t thought about how he feels about Jay much since they’d hit the road together. For Tim, all that time spent endlessly driving was thinking in circles of the aforementioned thing and Alex following them close behind, how they could be anywhere, and exactly what their whole situation entailed. Tim realized the only meditation he’d had on Jay for a while now was the past hour he spent watching and listening to every drunken, listless smile and giggle Jay produced on the bed next to him, and Tim would be lying through his teeth to say it wasn’t cute. But, besides that, there was one thing Tim had in Jay that no one else could give, at least right now, companionship, friendship. Jay was the second person he could genuinely call a friend in his lifetime. The trust and bond they shared went unspoken, but nonetheless had been reinforced time and time again. They looked out for each other like it was simply second nature, in even the smallest of ways they jumped at the opportunity to help each other, they’d both do anything to reach the bottom of this twisted mystery they’re wrapped up in, and they’re doing it together. They.. were following each other to the ends of the earth, to the bottom of the bottle, and Tim was grateful for all that, despite Jay’s shortcomings and innumerable stumbles on their way, Jay was right here, and Tim’s friend, and so real and present, and Tim wasn’t about to take that for granted. What did they have to lose, besides, of course, each other?

Tim decided, “I wanna kiss you, too.”

And without words, the two drew close, Tim breathing in the scent of alcohol on Jay’s quickening breath before making contact. Jay’s lips were as surprisingly soft and inviting as they looked. Their lips pressed together hard, rough and sloppy, but good Lord, did it feel good, satisfying. Tim had to do much of the heavy lifting to make up for Jay’s drunkenness, but even if, their kiss felt so warm, and, in a lot of ways, fulfilling and oddly right. Jay smiled into the kiss, unable to contain his bubbling joy, and wrapped his arms tight around Tim’s waist, bringing them even closer, almost falling into each other's laps. Tim returned the sentiment with one hand in Jay’s short hair, and the other firm on his bony hips. Despite both men having a hard time remembering any past kisses they’ve shared with others, and definitely having no experience with other guys (until now), everything seemed to fall into place. Their unbridled intimacy seldom felt awkward, their feelings flowed freely between them without needing to be spoken. When Jay parted his lips, Tim’s tongue slipped past Jay’s teeth without thinking twice or an ounce of hesitation, and Jay would smile for the umpteenth time tonight if he could with Tim’s tongue in his mouth. It was far from graceful, their uncoordinated tongues smashed together and they both tasted every bit of lingering cigarettes, beer, and fast food from nights prior in their saliva and on the insides of their cheeks. Neither of them are very experienced, Jay’s jaw is slack and he almost bites Tim’s tongue more than once, and Tim could make Jay choke on his tongue if he wasn’t being careful, but somehow, it still felt damn good, and neither of them could shake the feeling that this was exactly where they were supposed to be right now.

The little gasps of air the two only afforded when their colliding mouths allowed eventually wouldn’t suffice, and Jay was the first to break apart for air, inhaling deep and meeting Tim’s almost expectant gaze. But instead of resuming the kiss afterwards, his fingers hurriedly dipped under the hem of his gray t-shirt and lifted it over his head, and the message was immediately clear. His face grew an even deeper red to match Jay’s as he took in what he knew was about to happen. As if in preparation, Tim reaches to Jay’s now bare sides, feeling porcelain, blemishless skin, wanting to breathe in each inch every little nerve in his hands contacted. Fingers coasted up Jay’s waist, slowing to feel for each individual rib in his ribcage. His eyes hung heavy across Jay’s chest, tracing his collarbones and then his neck, and he’d never seen skin that looked so perfect before, a guy that looked so perfect, so angelic but so real too. He’d long abandoned any belief in perfection, but looking at Jay like this just briefly sparked that childhood dream once more. Chest rising and falling, Jay waited, each little movement on Tim’s end making his dick twitch, stewing in a weird emotion between anticipation, bliss, and restlessness. Before Tim’s mind even fully caught up to what he was doing, his mouth was on Jay’s neck, seemingly trying to suck the sweet life out of him through skin, and coaxing sounds out of Jay like he’d never even heard in porn before.

_“Oh, Fu-uck, Tim-”_

Anything they’d lied about or any secrets they’d kept from each other didn’t matter, at least, not right now. Those were the last things on their minds. What mattered was Jay in Tim’s arms and Tim in Jay’s, what mattered was warm hands and hot breath against skin, what mattered was the pretty bruise Tim saw fading onto Jay’s neck when he pulled away, what mattered was Jay’s desire to be as close as physically possible to Tim at any given moment, what mattered now was their growing erections nagging against the walls of their jeans.

Jay could hardly help himself, his lax fingers reached for Tim’s belt, making quick work of the buckle, and Tim kept the momentum as he shuffled his jeans down to his knees, not bothering to take them all the way off. Jay could’ve sworn he was holding his breath as he freed Tim’s dick from his boxers. To say it was impressive was almost an understatement. It was exceptionally lengthy, and could’ve been a bit less than the thickness of Jay’s wrist. He took a few seconds to marvel at it, each individual vein and slight colour shift in the skin, before spitting into his hand and wrapping it around Tim’s dick, cautious, earning a delicate sigh from Tim telling, needing Jay to _move_. Jay had been over this song and dance before many a time, late in the evening in his old room, but it felt like trying to speak a completely foreign language when he had his hands on Tim. He was enamoured with the fact that he had Tim’s dick in his hand, and he was getting him off, and the little moans and sighs he pressed out of Tim sen a sensation through him like nothing he’d ever felt before. All the times he went over his lines in his head, thought being in a situation like this, it couldn’t compare to the real thing, not even close. He tried to keep a steady pace, but his movement stuttered at seemingly random intervals, desperately sliding his hand up and down Tim’s thick cock. Even though Jay jerked Tim off with all the grace and fluidity of a newborn deer trying to walk for the first time, Tim could hardly hold back his tiny moans of approval, urging Jay to _keep going, God, please_. Colour bloomed underneath Tim’s skin at an intensity he never thought he’d experience before. He gripped Jay’s hair and brought him closer, until their bodies were pressed against each other again, Tim didn’t realize how badly he needed this until he had it, and he wanted to return the favour.

“Le-mme see your belt, Jay.” Tim tried to speak past his sighs. He didn’t have to say anything else to get Jay to hurriedly, excitedly, adjust his position. Jay’s hand faltered further and his face fell flush against Tim’s neck as Tim wastes no time pulling Jay’s dick from his pants.

“Fuck, _fuck_ ,” Jay whines into Tim’s shoulder as Tim grasps Jay’s cock, Jay’s hips obscenely bucking and shaking, needing attention. All the tension (of more than one kind) building over these past months, years, seemed to melt into satisfying warmth, even if only for these few moments. Their nerves feel fit to burst as their hands pick up the pace, closing the gap between them as much as they can again, and their rose-coloured room fills with a cacophony of hushed moans, heavy panting, rustling clothes. Neither of them cared that most of their clothes were still on, adhered to their skin with sweat, the need was so much more important than that, than any secrets or lies or mysteries or tapes right now. They were so much more important to each other than any of that. Jay was straddling Tim’s lap at this point, legs spread wide to give him leverage to desperately rut their hips together, wanting as _much_ as possible, as if Tim’s hand just wouldn't satisfy him anymore. Both hungry, needy, Jay ground hard into Tim and Tim into Jay, with enough force to bruise, their cocks slide against one another and press together clumsily, and it feels incredible. Jay’s hands struggle to keep his hold on Tim’s shoulders, and Tim on Jay’s hips, both breathing in the sweet scent of alcohol breath and sweat, and seeing stars enough for it to be sickening, dizzying, in the best way, both riding the intense high of melting each other’s armor, once and for all, being there for each other, even after they felt whole wide world has abandoned them. They felt they could face God and the Devil and whoever (or whatever) else was up to the task and come out alive. They had each other, they were invincible, even if just for now. Jay whined, _“God, God, God,”_ He never considered himself to be religious, but he assumed this is what a holy experience must feel like, and they say each other's names like a prayer just before the heat peaks.

_“Jay, I’m gonna cum, Jay,”_

_“T-Tim- fuck, Tim, I love you,”_

_“I love you, Jay,”_

A few more rough drags of their hips, and the two are utterly spent, Their bodies shudder and hands beg for purchase through the explosive haze, Jay swears he felt tears sting at the corners of his eyes. Tim puts his mouth on Jay’s one last time tonight before pulling away to reveal the pale, sticky mess staining Tim’s shirt and Jay’s stomach, strings of it still connecting the two. Tim really hoped this place had washing machines.

Jay’s body goes completely limp in the afterglow, falling to Tim’s side, glazed eyes half-lidded, another dumb smile on his face, his breathing steady and comforting. Jay’s brain was still trying to process that that did, indeed, all just happen. Tim shed his (now very gross) flannel shirt and joined Jay, pulling the sweat stained sheets over both of them.

“That was, like.. everything I hoped it’d be.” Jay’s barely awake, lazily draping his arms over Tim and sharing their warmth, much to Tim’s gratification.

“Have you been hoping for long?” Tim chuckled, that chuckle soon progressing into full-fledged, full-hearted laughter when Jay refused to answer, and Tim can’t remember the last time he or Jay had laughed in earnest. After trying his best to hold his breath, Jay joined in, and his laughter really was beautiful. He didn’t bother trying to stifle it or make it sound more palatable when it came forth, and something deep in Tim admired that. Even if it was because of the afterglow or the alcohol floating around in his system and his head, Jay grinned as wide as his adorable face could manage, as if nothing had ever been wrong, and Tim, laughing and smiling right along next to Jay, wanted this moment to never end. He wanted Jay to be able smile like this forever. He couldn’t tell what feeling caused the tears balancing at the corners of his eyes, and Tim tried his hardest not to think of anything else other than Jay’s warm smile and warm laughter and warm touch. Tim folded his arms tight around the other amateur sleuth, Jay reciprocated, and pledged he wouldn’t let go until morning.

-

Tim cracked his heavy eyes open to the sight of the familiar pink motel room, bathed in cool daytime light. Upon checking the time, displayed in red numbers on the bedside table’s digital clock, Tim realized that he and Jay had slept well into the afternoon. Which would’ve been cause for concern, if not for the series of events last night that were all slowly coming back to him. Tim reluctantly released his grasp on Jay and lifted himself from Jay’s arms- Only now noticing the ever familiar camcorder pointed directly at the bed, and soon after, coming to the realization that they had inadvertently created a sex tape.

A variety of thoughts entered Tim’s head at once, he had no idea what to do with it now. He briefly considered destroying it (who knows who could get their hands on it), but that didn’t feel quite right. He could give it to Jay, but he didn’t know what else the camera may have captured, and, quite frankly, he wanted no part of the tape to appear on Jay’s youtube channel as the next entry. He supposed he could keep it, like a commemorative trophy of the night he technically lost his virginity. That would keep it out of anyone else's hands, too. He thought on that for a moment, a long moment next to Jay’s camera, then released the tape and shoved it into the front pocket of his unbuckled, wrinkled jeans. If something were to happen to either of them or their memories, which, terrifyingly, was very likely, Tim, and hopefully Jay, too, would know that at one point, they were more than two guys on the run together. They were friends. Good friends. Lovers, even. The term seems to fizz in his brain before he can swallow it, but when he does, it feels satisfying, if not entirely correct. He clutches the space the tape occupies in his one front pocket, and turns to, somewhat regretfully, awaken a very peaceful Jay.

-

**Author's Note:**

> hey there! this wasnt proofread by anyone [ besides myself ] nor do i have an editor or anything like that, so if you have any suggested edits or feedback please feel free to comment! thank you for reading! i hope i did these two justice ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿


End file.
